More of the Hippity Hoppity

While i'm clearly addicted to instrumental beat music, i'm surprisingly middle of the road on actual rap music. As far as i'm concerned, the genre died an inglorious death sometime in the late/mid-90s and remained a steaming pile of nerf herding crap for the better part of the next ten years or so. Fortunately, there's been a genuine resurgence in the music as it seems to grow further away from the mainstream spotlight it secured 15 or so years ago. Sure, it's the crap that still sells, but for those in the know, it's the underground and offbeat stuff that's where it's at. What the hell was my point before this pseudo-tirade began? Oh yes, as luck would have it, a number of actually good rap numbers have made their way into ye olde inbox, so let's have at it, won't we?

i've remained purposefully mum on the new Kanye CD because, quite frankly, i don't think too highly of the guy. While i certainly don't need my artists to be picture perfect facsimiles of myself, i need to have some common ground to get into the music, and 'Ye is approaching Prince levels of weirdness. All that being said, this track, released a few weeks back during one of his Good Friday dumps, is a fucking beast, with guests including Bon Iver, Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj and Rick Ross. West's verses are better than average (call my misogynistic, but the lines "Have you ever had sex with a Pharaoh/I put the pussy in a sarcophagus/Now she claiming I bruise her esophagus/Head of the class and she just want a swallowship" crack me up) and Jay-Z's are lackluster, but Nicki Minaj absolutely steals the show on this one. i've been hearing certain folks call hers the verse of the year. While i still don't see the allure of her mixtapes and won't even bother with her debut, if she can go this strong here, she clearly has talent to spare. Now only if she'd show it elsewhere. Anyway, if you want to hear more about KW's latest epic affair, the infallible Passion of the Weiss dedicated enough column posts to the thing for a damn book. My final thought--it's the type of CD you listen to once, pull out a couple of tracks (maybe), and then never listen to again. Or maybe you like egregiously over-hyped epics that go on and on and on and on and on and on, etc.

mp3: Monster (ft. Nicki Minaj, Jay-Z, Rick Ross & Bon Iver) (Kanye West from My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy)

i'm glad that Damu the Fudgemunk is as good as he is, because with a name that excellent, there was no choice but for me to write about him. He just dropped his Supply for Demand a couple of weeks ago, and here's a taste. And would you look at that, it's ABOUT D.C. FROM A D.C. LOCAL ARTIST!!! Don't tell me LET is only for Nigerians and Estonians.

mp3: DC Joint (Ward 4 Version) (Damu the Fudgemunk from Supply for Demand)

While we're on the local front, here's another joint produced by Oddisee, this one fronted by Stik Figa. Seriously, i have got to get a rap name.

mp3: From the Top (Stik Figa and Oddisee from Helpless Dreamer)

For today's uplifting track, LET fave Emay takes on the persona of a white racist in an effort to show what hate sounds like. It's a powerful message and a dope tune, but it might have been funnier if he got Clayton Bigsby to spit a few verses.

mp3: Racist on Purpose (Emay from his Bandcamp)

And today's closer could be perhaps my favorite music story of the year. As would any good younger brother and best man , England's Prince Harry knew he was responsible for the bachelor party of all freaky royal bachelor parties for the elder and recently betrothed Prince William. To best accomplish his goal, Hal reached out to none other than Snoop Dogg. In Snoop's own words: “When I heard the royal family wanted to have me perform in celebration of Prince William’s marriage, I knew I had to give them a little something. ‘Wet’ is the perfect anthem for Prince William or any playa to get the club smoking.” In true Snoop fashion, he debuted the following at 4:20 pm. Now, while i'm normally not a fan of the heavily autotuned, i must admit, this one here has club anthem written all over it.

mp3: Wet (Snoop Dogg from upcoming Doggumentary Music)

Concert Preview: Rock the Bells Festival, 8-29-10, Merriweather Post Pavillion

i don't normally talk about concerts before attending them, but seeing as i just dropped $300 for two tickets to the Rock the Bells Festival, i figured i'd make an exception this time.

Go figure, it's for a festival, too, in August, no less. Now, i don't really do festivals anymore. The notion of standing in a hot field with random strangers while the acts play for less than an hour each simply is not that appealing to me. i'd far rather pony up and see a given performer doing a headlining gig at a club--there's generally less chance for heat stroke, the sets last far longer and the bathrooms usually are at least a tad cleaner.

This year's Rock the Bells Festival, however, has some of my favorite hip-hop acts of all-time taking the stage to perform some of their earlier albums in their entirety. And these are some of the greatest rap CDs ever put to wax, i tell you what.

For your listening pleasure, we have the following performing the following:

--Snoop Dogg, Doggystyle

--A Tribe Called Quest, Midnight Marauders (i personally would have preferred People's Instinctive Travels And Paths Of Rhythm, but what can you do?)

--KRS-ONE, Criminal Minded (RIP, Scott La Rock)

--Rakim, Paid in Full (What, no Eric B.?)

--Wu-Tang Clan, Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) (No ODB? No problem, as they're bringing Boy Jones, his first born son)

--Slick Rick, The Great Adventures Of Slick Rick (Pauvre, Pauvre Doug E. Fresh)

--Plus "very special guest" Lauryn Hill, assumedly doing "The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill," though the website is a bit murky on that front. i guess her kids need to eat after all (i joke because i love, people).

Not to mention, some dozen other slated acts, plus freestyle sessions and Buddha only knows how much buddha wafting through the air. This is one i'm betting should not be missed (to the tune of $300, damn it). More to come. In the interim, let's rock, y'all.

mp3: Gin and Juice (Snoop Dogg from Doggystyle)

mp3: Award Tour (A Tribe Called Quest from Midnight Marauders)

mp3: Super Ho (Boogie Down Productions from Criminal Minded)

mp3: I Ain't No Joke (Eric B. & Rakim from Paid in Full)

mp3: Da Mystery of Chessboxin' (Wu-Tang Clan from Enter The Wu Tang (36 Chambers))

mp3: Treat Her Like a Prostitute (Slick Rick from The Great Adventures of Slick Rick)

mp3: Doo Wop (That Thing) (Lauryn Hill from The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill)

The Greatest Inappropriate for a Workplace Xmas Party Mix You Will Ever Hear

So today's mix theme is hysterectomies.

Actually, i am totally fucking with you. A hysterectomy mix. Jebus, can you imagine? Yipes.

i do, however, have a mix in mind. Here it is, nearly halfway through December, and i haven't put together one Christmas Mix for you cats. (Yes, i do say Christmas--not Holiday or Seasonal. Look, i'm about as agnostic as they come, but if the early Christians went to all that trouble to rip off the pagans in their efforts to destroy the older religion, well then, by gum, it's their damn holiday, and they get to call the shots. Fair is fair, after all. And co-opting is for the birds.)

After much prodding, my lazy ass got around to making an Xmas Mix for the Missus' office party. The only "rule" i was given was to keep it clean enough for the post-party clean-up. i thought i did a pretty good job, with only one "maybe not" song on there. Of course, the mix consequently was played in front of some Veep, who then admonished the Missus, who then let me know what was what.

Note to readers: As kick ass a song as it is, Fairytale of New York by the Pogues apparently isn't "appropriate for a workplace environment." Go figure.

It is with the above in mind that i bring to you The Greatest Inappropriate for a Workplace Xmas Party Mix You Will Ever Hear. My stars and garters, you are some lucky bastards.

mp3: Clark Griswold's Christmas Wish (Chevy Chase from Christmas Vacation)

What better way to kick things off than this heartfelt wish for the true meaning of Christmas.

mp3: Evergreen (MC Chris from Eating's Not Cheating)

I could have gone with a couple of different tracks by my personal favorite pint-sized rapper, but this one seemed to work best. Sure, he's talking about, you know, the reefer, but he's Christmas-ed it up by using Xmas foliage as a metaphor. Which was nice of him.

mp3: Give the Jew Girls Toys (Sarah Silverman from Jesus is Magic)

i'll be honest, i didn't care for many of the songs on this otherwise hilarious CD, but what's not to love about a Hebron sister's plea for her share of the Xmas loot? Plus, it encompasses my favorite part of religion--quaint dismissal of all other religions. Gods bless us, everyone!

mp3: Don't Eat the Yellow Snow (Frank Zappa from Apostrophe ('))

Not technically Christmas specific, but it's certainly winter-y enough to make the list. Plus, everyone needs a bit more Zappa in their daily diet. Anyway, some people find this song to be gross. Personally, i think it's just good advice.

mp3: Nicholas Was... (Neil Gaiman from Warning: Contains Language)

i've probably mentioned it before, but Neil is one of my top three favorite current writers. There's nothing particularly "inappropriate" about this spoken word piece at all. But it is kind of creepy as hell. You certainly wouldn't want to play this at any party with young kids present, though, i'm pretty sure of that.

mp3: Santa Claus is Smoking Reefer (Squirrel Nut Zippers from Sold Out)

This is actually a "hidden" track on the album. Why do bands do that? It's not hidden at all, jack, you're just making me sit through some indeterminate period of silence before the pay-off. Pretty selfish if you ask me, dog. Just saying. Anyway, even though it's kind of old-timey jazz, most employers don't like pot tracks. Bastards.

mp3: A Pimp's Christmas Song (Snoop Dogg from Christmas in the Dogghouse)

Dude, it's a Christmas song by Snoop Dogg. Do the math.

mp3: Mrs. Claus' Kimono (Drive-By Truckers from The Fine Print)

An elf's plan to bang Santa's Old Lady. Monkey bless the U.S. of A.

mp3: Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa (De La Soul from De La Soul is Dead)

You'd think this would have everything an office Xmas track would need--rape, incest and murder. Well, i guess that depends entirely on where you work. i could have gone with the Roots cover here, as it's arguably an even creepier version, but i'm down with De La. What can i say?

mp3: Fairytale of New York (The Pogues from If I Should Fall From Grace From God)

i'm fairly confident this was the verse that didn't sit well with the Veep:

You're a bum

You're a punk

You're an old slut on junk

Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed

You scumbag, you maggot

You cheap lousy faggot

Happy Christmas your arse

I pray God it's our last

i fucking love my Mc Brethern.