The Most Inappropriate Wedding Mix You Ever Will Hear

In a few hours (why the hell am i awake this early on a Saturday?), The Missus and i are off to partake in the nuptials of a couple of her friends whom i have not yet met. With my wonky back, i am afraid i shall not be able to pull off the appropriate breakdancing moves at the reception, but with enough free booze in one's system, who knows what's possible? If you don't hear from me by Monday afternoon, it's probably safe to assume that the six-step into a helicopter into a windmill combo i attempted to pull off did not go well.

In honor of the impending marriage, i offer up The Most Inappropriate Wedding Mix You Ever Will Hear.

mp3: I Married Her Because She Looks Just Like You (Lyle Lovett from Lyle Lovett and His Large Band)

mp3: 51st Anniversary (Jimi Hendrix from Are You Experienced?)

mp3: Love Rears Its Ugly Head (Living Colour from Time's Up)

mp3: I Wanna Get Married (Nellie McKay from Get Away From Me)

mp3: Let's Get Married (Juliana Hatfield from Juliana's Pony: Total System Failure)

mp3: I Want to Get Married (B.B. King from Singin' The Blues - The Blues)

mp3: Marriage of Dale and Ming (And Flash Approaching) (Queen from Flash Gordon Soundtrack)

mp3: Weep, Bride, Weep (Geoff Berner from The Wedding Dance of the Widow Bride)

mp3: $1,000 Wedding (Evan Dando with Juliana Hatfield from Return of the Grievous Angel: A Tribute to Gram Parsons)

mp3: She's No Lady (Lyle Lovett from Pontiac)

mp3: Conventional Marriages (Groucho Marx from Animal Crackers)

mp3: But That's Bygamy (Groucho Marx from Animal Crackers)

The Guest Room Works

Because it's my blog, and i'll write about whatever i damn well please, we had our first vistors at the new crib this past weekend, with one particularly special guest, blogger extraordinaire, Maxwell "The Hammer" Cooper, keeping the groove alive at all times. i'm sure you're saying, Jebus, what kind of guest room does a guy like Terrible Chris have?

As the picture proves, only the most tricked out mutha on the planet, baby.*

You're jealous. i know this, man.

Now i only have to turn the basement into a faithful replica of Flynn's Arcade, and i'm styling, fo sho.

This one's for you, Hammer.

mp3: House Guest (Jim Gaffigan from King Baby)

mp3: Happiness Hotel (The Muppets from The Muppet Show - The 25th Anniversary Collection)

mp3: Hotel Bill (Groucho Marx from A Night at the Opera)

*And i forgot to take a picture of the tauntaun sleeping bag also in the room, damn it, which only makes it one billion times cooler still.

The Greatest (And Probably Only) Coumadin Mix You Will Ever Hear

In the on-going war to destroy my evil inner ninja scabs, one of my numerous docs has decided it's time for me to take Coumadin, marking the third blood thinner i'm currently on these days. While they have me doing these for different reasons, some of the lovely effects include bruising as easily as a kindergarten girl and tending to bleed heavily if so much as a sharp breeze passes me by. To make matters more interesting still, Pop pointed out that the drug originally was used as rat poison. It's clear that there's only one way to process all this information overload. Yep, that's right, it's time to put together The Greatest (And Probably Only) Coumadin Mix You Will Ever Hear.

You know, at this point, i might as well just start a "Stump the Mix Master" column where you cats are invited to attempt to give me a topic upon which you think it would otherwise be impossible to make a mix tape. Of course, i will prove you wrong, but at least the kids at home can play along.

Seriously, a Coumadin mix? Sweet Yoda on a yak, i'm fucking good.

(Ed. note: upon further review, it was blatantly clear to the otherwise three blind refs that this mix had to start with Groucho's remarks on the matter. For earlier fans who downloaded with the great mustachioed one riding fourth, please change your score cards to reflect appropriately. Clearly, i needed more meds before the original posting. Remember, kids, drugs make you strong, cool and popular.)

mp3: Poison (Grouch Marx clip from A Day at the Races)

mp3: Bleed Like Me (Garbage from Bleed Like Me)

mp3: Bruises (Melanie Pain from My Name Is)

mp3: I Smell A Rat (Buddy Guy from Stone Crazy!)

mp3: Poison (Bel Biv Devoe from Poison)