Wednesday, May 26, 2010

LP Lust: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

There are no actual record purchases involved in this here post. It's more of a reaction to a post a friend had written about the horror of splitting up a record collection at the end of a relationship (read the Lightning's Girl post here). While never having faced the trauma myself, I still manage to have an opinion on the subject Tracy has raised, namely, should you or shouldn't you merge record collections when entering into a serious relationship? For my part, I agree with Tracy. I think combining record collections, while perhaps an excellent idea in theory, is in truth a terrible, horrible, no good very bad idea. And here's why.

I've worked very hard at building my record collection. And while small in stature, I'd venture to say it's a pretty awesome assortment. One of these days I might meet a great boy with an equal, or even greater passion for vinyl. This would be pretty special, obviously. However, the question might eventually arise: hey, if we move in together, what about our records? I'll just go ahead and nip any future debate in the bud right here. My record collection will not be merged. No way, no how. Friends, please remind me of my stance here should my judgment falter in the future. Merging the records can only end badly. Tracy likens this to having one's fingertips sawed off, and I think that's probably fairly accurate. Our record collections, one might argue, are a part of our personalities. No matter how impressive your partner's vinyl might be, it isn't necessarily cause for blending record families. While additional records are indeed cause for great joy and increased listening happiness, the idea of laying the "what's mine is yours" umbrella over records is dangerous to be sure.

And then, when the inevitable're totally, utterly screwed. Dealing with a breakup is hard enough, but if you've merged your record collections together, it'll be infinitely worse. Bitter insults and stinging words thrown around while arguing over who is the rightful owner of that pristine copy of your favorite record. Thanks, but no thanks. If you must blend together your vinyl, make sure to mark each and every record, so no arguments can be had later on. But probably a more ideal solution could be his'n'hers record cabinets. Keep 'em separated, folks. It's not worth the heartbreak.