Yet Another Terrible Album Review: Sickle Sell Saturday Night by The Black Knights

Ever wonder would happen if the Black Keys jumped in a time machine, starting hanging out with a young Ozzy Osbourne, started having weird, occult-y sex that resulted in a couple of kids that then ended up forming a band and putting out their own music? Of course not. That's just fucking weird. Now, however, you're thinking about what that band would sound like, aren't you? Well, it might well sound like The Black Knights. Hailed as a voodoo trash blues duo (perhaps my new favorite genre description), The Dark Reverend Gary L. Hope (vox/axe) and Thomas Richard Pickford III (skins/vox) combine scuzz bucket blues with a touch of 70s rock to create an audial kick to the gut on their debut, Sickle Sell Saturday Night.

And with topics ranging from vampires ("I Drove a Stake Right Through Your Heart," "Vampire Rave") to demons ("Saturday Night Succubi"), Halloween seems the most appropriate time for this bad boy to work its way into your "Now Playing" list.

Snorting things off with "L.A. Hayfever," the boys waste no time getting grimy in this paean to cocaine. The beat is driving and menacing, and doesn't really let up for the duration of things. "Saturday Night Succubi" drops the tempo, but raises the fuzz, damn near doing the same for your blood pressure as the groove locks in and gets nasty. "Cult" opens with a tirade that calls the devil a "fucking nincom-fucking-poop;" honestly, that right there should be enough to buy the album, end of story, but the barn burner that follows is downright sick. The T-Rex homage, "Mailbomb Tom" keeps things rolling right along before "I Drove A Stake Right Through Your Heart" throttles things up a notch. "Bad Blood" slows things back down, all swampy and dark. "Schiz-" then jumps back into the thick of things, with a freakish demonic voice in the background to make sure the album maintains its unsettling air. The next few tracks continuously build upon one another to create an ever looming fright night before closing with the hauntingly appropriate "Receiver."

i'm telling you, about the only thing missing here is an ode to zombies, but what can you do? Regardless of the time of year, this is witchy music, pure and simple.

mp3: Saturday Night Succubi (The Black Knights from Sickle Sell Saturday Night)