Saturday, March 6, 2010

Stone Coldest Fox of 2009: Trent Reznor

As we’ve said before, and will happily say over and over, we’re definitely not above a little objectification here at Les Enfants Terribles. We’re equal opportunity objectifiers, and we love us some smut. After all, someone’s gotta put the sex in “sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll.” With that in mind, I’d like to present my favorite Best Of category, celebrating the sex appeal of the guys who make the music we love. Last year, in my inaugural homage to the foxiest of foxy rock’n’rollers, I listed ten dudes who are, in my humble opinion, some of the sexiest men around. This year I thought better of that idea, not because I had a hard time choosing guys for the list but because when you boil it down it really isn’t fair. There’s one man who really personifies foxiness, one man who is like walking sex, one man who can out-smolder anyone and everyone. That man owned this title in 2008, and he’s repeating as my Stone Coldest Fox of the Year for 2009. May I introduce to you, again, the one and only Trent Reznor, and he could teach most of the dudes I know a thing or two.

What is it that makes Trent so overwhelmingly and irresistibly appealing, you might be wondering. Well, there’s plenty. Naturally, no one can deny that the man was given a good start by the genetic craps shoot. Be it Downward Spiral Trent in bondage gear or “Perfect Drug” Trent decked out in Edwardian velvets, or the current Trent-carnation of pure sex and bulging biceps, he’s a beautiful man. In addition, he’s got plenty of other things going for him, such as his stage persona. Rarely have I seen someone so intense during his performances. And I’ll say this, never underestimate the attractiveness of putting everything you have into a show, guys. It only makes us ladies curious about what else you might be so intense about.

Also enticing is the fact that he’s in his 40s. To some of us girls, this means that he’s worldly and wise, and has probably been around the block a time or two. Experience is oh-so alluring. Trent’s been in the music industry for quite a long time, and he’s seasoned. He’s a pro. He’s gotta be, to have survived for so long in such a tough business. And this tenacity and success does a lot to bolster his already sky-high sexiness. Oh yeah, and there's that whole super talented thing, too.

But perhaps what makes him the most lust-worthy of musicians is, as I can finally say from firsthand experience, his presence. Trent in the flesh is stiflingly sexy. Ladies, let me tell you, you haven’t lived until you’ve been enveloped in a bear hug from this man. And only someone with the slow-burning hotness of Trent Reznor could get away with saying something like, “I wanna be covered in boobs.”

Bottom line: Trent Reznor is the reigning king of foxes, at least as far as this here site is concerned. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I feel a swoon coming on.

mp3: Sin (Nine Inch Nails from Pretty Hate Machine)

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