Tuesday, March 16, 2010

How To Get Your Band's New CD Reviewed on Damn Near Any Music Website

OK, musician-types, today's post starts out just for you, before we get into some new tuneage for the unwashed masses. Seriously, people, would a shower kill you?

So you and the three cats with whom you attended P.S. 258 have put the finishing touches on your new EP, a truly heart wrenching concept album about two chipmunks who fall in and out of love in a nuclear wasteland, combining reggae and polka in a never before heard sound that you are confident can change worldviews completely. Of course, your manager is also your brother who never went to college and just barely passed his G.E.D., but your mother is adamant that the two of you spend more time together. His first good idea in Dolemite knows how long was to send out tracks to any and every site that posts mp3s you can think of, and he actually got off his ass to get appropriate email addresses and all that. Now how do you ensure that the so-called "editors" will actually bother to listen to your stuff?

i'll be honest, we get a fair amount of submissions here at LET. Some good, some not, a few bordering on genuis and some that never should have been put to wax in the first place. Plus, like most other music bloggers (read: unpaid music lovers with obvious neediness issues), i actually do have a life of my own, or at least a wife that wishes i could provide her with said interesting life, not to mention an ever growing comic book addiction, TiVo "To Watch" list, etc. Suffice to say, if i were to listen to everything sent to me, combined with everything else going on in my world, well, i wouldn't get a damn thing done. So what's going to get my attention above the normal din?

That's right, kids, it's going to be your cover letter asking/begging us to help you on your way towards Internet stardom. Fortunately for you struggling artists, i recently received perhaps the best damn example of "How to Write a Kick-Ass Introduction Letter" submission i've ever read. i'm going to highlight a few things to show you what i mean. The letter comes from Joey Lastima of Que Lastima, but more on them in a second.

"Dear Folks over at LET:
I have been reading your blog fairly obsessively for the past month. I was initially hooked by the Black Dynamite references, but my interest was held by the high quality of music discovery/sharing. "

Right off the bat, Mr. Lastima references Black Dynamite, proving he's taken the time to read at least one post here. Most folks don't even do that. Following up with the obvious flattery does not hurt. i am not a proud man, i'll admit it.

Joey goes onto to describe his band, points me in the direction of where to find out more, and includes a link to download their latest EP. Oh, and he happens to be a fellow Chicagoan, all but sealing the deal for himself.

Just before closing, though, he lays this on me:

"Also, knowing your love of zombies, we have written a split zombie/space album that we will be recording this summer and that we play live."

Now, the likelihood of them writing a zombie/space album for us is highly exaggerated, i'm sure, but whether it was intentional or not, it's a good slip on his part. Plus, seriously, who doesn't fucking love zombies? Nobody. Not even your grandfather.

In just over a paragraph, he's acknowledged a far more than cursory knowledge of LET, has appealed to our vanity AND mentioned he's a homeboy of mine. The only thing he hasn't asked is if the Internet rumor that i'm hung like a wildebeest is true*, but let's be honest, that would have just been weird. And guess what? i popped the EP into ye olde iPod immediately, and have listened to it a few times already.

From here, you're pretty much going to float on your talent (or you won't). Fortunately for Que Lastima, they've got a strong sound, playing pretty indie pop, often covering the entirety of the 70s sound spectrum in just one song, going from borderline funk to AM grooves with a skilled and practiced ease. The new and repeatedly aforementioned EP, ¡Ossicones!, will soon be available on iTunes, but you can stream it now at facebook.com/quelastima or myspace.com/quelastimaband. Knowing how lazy a lot of you bastards are, however, we've even taken that extra step to post an mp3 here.

You can thank us any time now.

*It is true.

mp3: Let's Get Erased (Que Lastima from ¡Ossicones!)

3 comments:

Emanuel said...

The space/zombie albums is not a joke. I've seen them play portions of it live. And it is awesome.

Terrible Chris said...

Oh, i have no doubt the album exists, and if i get my hands on it prior to Halloween, i'm sure it will make it into the next Ultimate Zombie Mix Update. The way the sentence was written implied that the album was written just for LET. That's the part i was questioning.

i suppose i am an inspiration unto myself, though, now that i think about it.

Terrible Chris said...
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